Outtakes

There was a time when I wanted to have the perfect Christmas picture, card and letter. Now I settle. For whatever I can get.

One day, after pulling into the garage after church, I told the kids to not change clothes and to stay in the yard.

I ran in, got my camera and ran back out.

My threat bribe? As soon as you smile nicely, you can go take your church clothes off and eat. Worked like a charm.

However, I still got some cute ones...

Mom tears

I have decided that Mom tears are pretty dang strong. There is just nothing like them in the world.

I remember as a youth, my Mom crying her Mom tears and I didn't understand. I couldn't. Because I wasn't a Mom yet.

I have cried many Mom tears. When my kids are sad. When my kids are proud. When my kids are sick. When I got the autism diagnosis. When they hurt.

But sometimes my Mom tears come from the pain & worry that I feel.

I had a rough weekend. With a child feeling lonely, sad, tired and more.

They took these feelings out on me. With words that cut to the bone. And those Mom tears came flooding out. I couldn't stop them. They came for  most of the day.

Wonderful Mom friends, who I know have shed their own Mom tears, talked with me, shared their Kleenex, hugs and later...there was ice cream.

My heart was heavy. But I felt loved. And connected with all those other Moms, who have shed their own powerful Mom tears and ache for their kids.

When I felt as if my heart could not take anymore, when I felt like the biggest Mom failure on the planet, I found this on Ivan's desk at school...

...and I cried more Mom tears. Not painful ones. But hopeful ones. Mom tears. There is just nothing quite like them.

School daze

This Wednesday, my kids started school.

High school. Middle school. Elementary school. Preschool starts next week.

I have made lunches. Packed backpacks. Signed enough papers to give myself a hand cramp for a week. I have driven back and forth. I have walked back and forth.

Seminary started. Early morning seminary. My alarm is set for a time that STARTS with a 4. Yes, a 4. Harmony's alarm starts with a 5. Early.

There have been quiet moments to think. There have been quiet moments to just be me. There have been sweet moments with Mason. There have been moments where he has driven me nuts, without older siblings to entertain him.

All of my kids have had a great first few days. They have classes with their friends & favorite teachers. They have made new friends. They have managed to open their lockers. And haul textbooks. And find their classes.

However, after three days, this Mama is worn the heck out. Last night I fell asleep at 8:15. With my contacts in. In my clothes. With Masons shoes at the end of my bed. Dead to the world at 8:15.

This year is going to be busy. And next year. And the next.

My caffeine consumption just may go up. By a lot.

14 days of Love...contd.

I got a little behind over the weekend, posting some of my ideas for the 14 days of Love. So here they are...

Day 2:

Ben: A box of Milk Duds, with a note that says, " I am so glad I didn't marry a DUD" (OK it was a little lame but...whatever!)

The Kids: Got a bag of gummy bears that said, "My life would be un BEARable without you!"

Day 3:

Ben: I bought this little tin from Target, so it was pretty easy! It is a tin full of green gummy frogs that says My Prince. Then of course I had to add, "I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince."

The Kids: I filled a little paper chinese takeout box with a $1 bill and $2 in change. Their note said, " I wouldn't CHANGE a thing about you!"

(They LOVED getting money!)

Day 4:
Ben: Since he has class tonight, I wanted to give him something to snack on that wasn't candy! I got some jerky from Sams with a note that says, " I am so glad that you love me, even when I can be a little JERKy". (Kind of another lame one but...)

The Kids: Word Search puzzle books that say, "Some of the things you do can "PUZZLE" me, but I can't help loving you!"

Have you been doing anything for your kids every day? It can be a lot of work, but I love seeing their faces when they see the flag on their mailbox is up. I love that my hubby checks for his treat too :)

Poor

"Mom, are we poor?"

My kids at SeaWorld (minus the youngest)

One of my cute little kiddos asked me this the other day. Of course I asked why they thought that.

"Well because you always use coupons, and say, "I am not spending money on that" and you always accept hand me downs, plus a few other things."

I thought about their question before I answered. I wanted to make sure that they understood why I do the things that I do.



No, we are not poor. My kids have never known what it is like to have a hungry belly, or to not have a roof over their head. Or to suffer with an injury or sickness, because we can't go to the doctor. They always have clothes that fit them. They get new books & video games, go to movies & amusement parks. We eat out, from McDonalds to more "fancy" places like Olive Garden.

No we are not poor.

I try to save money because:
 I don't want my kids to know what it is like to have a hungry belly.
I don't want my kids to go without a roof over their heads.
I don't want my kids to have to suffer because we can't afford to take them to the doctor.
I don't want my kids to have to be without nice clothes. (Not the nicEST, but nice).
I want to be able to buy my children new books. I want to be able to buy them video games.
I want to go to the theater and watch movies with my kids. Or take them to an amusement park.
I want to be able to eat out.
I want them to feel safe and secure. Content.

Nope, we are not poor. But I am going to spend the least amount of money I can, so that I can AFFORD to do what we enjoy.

Its not about the money.

When Mama ain't happy...

Oh my heck fire. There is nothing, NOTHING that hurts me more than having one of my children hurt. NOTHING.

One of my children has a bully. While there have been physical confrontations, the emotional & mental confrontations are 10 times worse.

I can't even tell you how mad I am at some child I don't even know. I just want to spank him and put him on time out. Apparently he isn't getting any discipline at home as this has been going on for a couple of years now. To my knowledge, the child has been suspended multiple times.

My child is sweet. My child is kind. My child is a good person. My child wouldn't hurt someone just because. My child accepts everyone.

My child feels that this would be the answer to their problem:

That they need to be stronger. That they need to be a different kind of person than who they are.


If they want to be stronger because THEY want to be, than I have no problem with that. What I havea problem with, is


Why, why, why? Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" had no idea what they were talking about. Words do hurt. Once they are out, they can't be taken back.

Today on Facebook, I shared that I am thankful for parents who raise their children with good morals & values. And I am. Because so many parents aren't.

Week in Review

Its that time again. A weekly recap of what we did this week. To be perfectly honest, our weeks are pretty much the same...

Mondays: We generally spend the day cleaning up and running errands. Yes, yes it is an exciting life we lead. This week I also had to get ready for a meeting with our homeschool teacher. Yep, the summer is coming to an end and we are preparing for the next school year!

Tuesday: An older woman in our ward, absolutely loves Harmony and invited her to come and spend the day sewing with her. This woman also loves to find deals & steals at thrift stores and so Harmony came home with a huge bag full of new clothes. Score (: Ethan has scouts every Tuesday night and has been having a lot of fun with it.

Wednesday: Another exciting day of cleaning, errands video game playing...Harmony has Young Womens on Wednesdays and learned how to make apple pie. Unfortunatley she didn't bring any home for us!

Thursday: was spent pool side! Our playgroup has been meeting every Thursday at our local pool. We have been having a lot of fun with the other Moms and kids. Not to mention getting a lot of sun & exercise. It brings back memories to me of spending all my summers in the pool. Later Connor headed to a friends house, Ethan went off to a different friends house...and the house was relatively quiet!

Friday: Ben and I went on a date! Our first one since he has been home. We enjoyed lunch at one of our favorite local places. Yum! Then I spent my afternoon grocery shopping.

Saturday: clean up, spending allowance, buying new church shoes for Mason, a trip to GameStop...a typical Saturday.

This is pretty much the last week of summer for us. Ben starts school on Saturday and then the next week we have an orientation and start tracking for school. I am looking forward to this next phase...although I know life is going to be much busier!

weekend family update

walking on Stearns Warf in Santa Barbara

It is amazing how life can be boring and yet busy at the same time. Maybe a family of 7 can never have a truly boring life? That is probably it...

Harmony has spent the past week preparing to go to Girls Camp. She is so excited. Being a 2nd year means that they move up from tents to cabins. Harmony listens to music from the minute she wakes up (because it plays all night) until the minute she goes to bed...because yes, her music plays all night. She constantly has her ear phones in her ears. There are no ipods allowed at GC so she is not sure how she will survive the week!

Ethan was pretty bummed that there were no Scouts this week. However he managed to fill his time, as always, with video games. The kids drive us crazy because it seems that is all they want to do. I know it is summer, but I am afraid his brain has turned to mush. He has been having a lot of fun swimming and so at least there is that!

Connor has earned a new nickname..."the Mason whisperer". He can get Mason to do anything. Calm down, go to sleep, stop crying...the kid has the patience of a Saint. I have no idea where he got it from! Connor had a tough week with earning his allowance and then spending his money on something he didn't really want. Life is full of dissapointments and hopefully he learned his lesson!

Ivan is still a Lego building, Wii playing, run around like crazy 7 year old. This past Friday our family made a trip to the zoo & aquarium. Ivan got in big trouble at the aquarium when he ignored me, and ran off to a different section. Many "safety violations" later, he said, "Sorry Mom." Ugh. He scares me. He really enjoyed the aquarium as we haven't been to one since he was little. He loved the new Jellies exhibit.

Mason hasn't let Ben out of his sight. He follows him around everywhere and asks, "what are you doing?". He loves to feel Bens whiskers (when he has them) and plays with his "scratchies". He has turned into a bossy little thing and is constantly telling the older kids to do things. For the most part they just ignore him, but it is pretty cute to see him bossing them around!

Ben is in a word...bored. He has officially checked out of NMCB3 and is now a grad student...although school doesn't start until the end of August. He is filling his time with honey  do lists. Cleaning out his garage, working on the yard and designing and building projects & furniture. He is so talented and built me a gorgeous picnic table. We have all enjoyed eating outside.

Life is good and we are enjoying the somewhat relaxed schedule of the summer.

Dumpster Divin'

Have you ever dumpster dived?

Big swallow...I have. I confess. Only three times.

Once on Guam, a neighbor put an awesome wicker basket on top of her trash. It still had the tag on it. I was honestly not sure if it was trash or she had set it there. I waited. I watched them walk past it a few times. No one moved it. When it was dark...I snatched it. And guess what? I still use it every.single.day.

Another time, my husband was putting the trash out, when he saw a shelf in our neighbors trash. He brought it inside, fixed it up and...we still use it every.single.day.

The other time was just the other day. However, it wasn't a trash can.

Near our Target, there is a donation bin. I was dropping some items off. One of the bins wouldn't close all the way.Kind of like a library book drop off bin. I opened it to see if something was stuck in there...and right on the door was 2 pairs of shorts.

They are 5T, which my son is still a little too small for, but hello adjustable waists! These were Old Navy and great quality. So...I snatched them. I did. I confess. My son who was with me, told me he would never tell.

What do you think, if you had been in the same situation, would you have grabbed them?

Determination

Oh.my.gracious. When Ethan (my 11 year old) gets an idea in his mind, he is not going to be deterred.

It is great....and a tad annoying. Whenever he wants to earn money for something, he is so young that the only thing he can do is work for me. Every day, no matter what I am doing, its, "Mom, do you have any jobs I can do?". Following me around begging me for jobs he can do.

He is a hard worker and doesn't want to wait. At all.

He had about $15 saved for a Pokemon DS game. He is his Mothers son because...

1. He saved every penny, nickel etc. that he found.
2. He bought it pre-owned to get a discount.
3. He didn't add anything on (a Pokewalker) which would have upped his cost.
4. He sold back some of his old games.

So with all this, he was still short by about $10. Then, out came the big guns...

"Mom, if I clean out both freezers in the garage, would that be enough work to cover the rest of the cost?"

He knew it was something I needed and wanted done. I said yes. In the 80* heat, he went out in the garage and got busy.

His hard work paid off...he got his game. And now I no longer have a shadow following me around every where saying, "Can I have a job Mom? Can I have a job?"