Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Mom tears

I have decided that Mom tears are pretty dang strong. There is just nothing like them in the world.

I remember as a youth, my Mom crying her Mom tears and I didn't understand. I couldn't. Because I wasn't a Mom yet.

I have cried many Mom tears. When my kids are sad. When my kids are proud. When my kids are sick. When I got the autism diagnosis. When they hurt.

But sometimes my Mom tears come from the pain & worry that I feel.

I had a rough weekend. With a child feeling lonely, sad, tired and more.

They took these feelings out on me. With words that cut to the bone. And those Mom tears came flooding out. I couldn't stop them. They came for  most of the day.

Wonderful Mom friends, who I know have shed their own Mom tears, talked with me, shared their Kleenex, hugs and later...there was ice cream.

My heart was heavy. But I felt loved. And connected with all those other Moms, who have shed their own powerful Mom tears and ache for their kids.

When I felt as if my heart could not take anymore, when I felt like the biggest Mom failure on the planet, I found this on Ivan's desk at school...

...and I cried more Mom tears. Not painful ones. But hopeful ones. Mom tears. There is just nothing quite like them.

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