Thursday, February 21, 2008

Long blog

I had honestly hoped to keep this blog updated while Ben's parents were here. Soooo did not happen! It is hard to clean or organize things while you have company. What do you say..."Oh I can't go sight seeing right now,I need to organize my junk drawer." Not gonna happen. At least not for me. Now that they have gone, it is time to get back to what I was doing. Back to routines, and getting organized.

There has been something going on in my life that I hadn't really shared. For a variety of reasons, I have kept it to myself. But the fact is, I am an extrovert. I have to talk things out. Share how I am feeling. The feedback really does help. So I am taking a deep breath and here we go...

I have always described Ivan in a variety of ways, a cute little Dennis the Menace, Hurricane Ivan, Ivan the Terrible, my wild man, a little stinker etc. His behavior has always been hard to deal with and I never know how he will react in a situation. He goes from 0-60 in 5 seconds. Just up and down with his emotions. And all of his emotions are extreme. He has started to be very aggressive. Hitting, throwing toys,biting, kicking and more. We have always said, " well that is Ivan" or " he is only 2" or " well he is the baby". However, as the problems have increased, we had to start looking at him and wondering if there was something more.

One day a friend of mine asked me if I had ever had Ivan tested for autism. I said no, I have never had a reason. But it got me thinking. Then at his well child exam,the doctor felt that he might be developmentally delayed. She said that I could get him tested if I wanted too and I said yes. After that, he seemed to just go downhill. He is really hard to take and I am always finding myself exaughsted and just...DONE by the end of the day.

My neighbor came to talk to me one day,and told me she knows just how I feel and has a son who is very similar to Ivan.I nearly started crying as she echoed everything I had been feeling. She let me borrow a book that helped her. I didn't get a chance to really start it while Ben's parents were here. But when I did, the first page had me in tears. " How can the author be describing Ivan when she has never met him?" I have been crying as I read through this book. Is Ivan ADD or ADHD? I don't know. Is he a "spirited child"? He scored off the charts. So I need to help him. He is my priority right now.

After reading many forums and articles there are a few things I have learned that I am trying to implement. It amazes me that there is such a correlation to the things that I want to do and what will help Ivan.

1) He can not have sugar. It is not good for him and keeps his blood sugar up and down. He can not handle the surge in his levels like that. Some of the major things that I did not realize how much sugar they have are...fruit snacks, yogurt, applesauce and juiceboxes. These were things that I was constantly giving him. A child size yogurt has 19 grams of sugar in it! And sometimes he would eat more than one. So my goal is to find recipes that don't use sugar. At first I felt bad for the other kids ( no cookies or pop tarts etc.) but then I thought better of that. None of us needs that!!

2) He needs a clean and organized environment. It is confusing and hard for him to handle. However, he needs my attention during the day. So I will be getting up early and getting as much done as I can before he wakes up. Then when he is awake, the focus is on him. Nap time will be spent as my free time. Time to relax and rejuvenate. Then a strict afternoon and evening routine.

3) Routine. Ivan thrives on a routine. He does not do well with transition. If I take him to do errands and than throw in an extra one, he will throw a fit and make my life miserable. So I need to be on a nice scheduled routine. So he knows exactly what comes next.

4)Limited tv. It is just too much stimulation. The tv needs to be kept off. Relaxing with a movie/tv show actually does the opposite. Reading, or a bath is a better way to help him relax.

5) exercise and outdoor play. He needs to be able to let all of that energy out. We need to be spending more time outside.

This post has already been way too long so for now that is all. It is just time to take care of this. Help him as much as I can. It is so important to be a homemaker. My place truly is in the home and he needs me here. I hope I can live up to the task!


Avis La Fin said...

Hi Sweetheart,
What a wonderful and honest blog!! You're way too hard on yourself though. You're doing an outstanding job, and you can only do what you can do.
I'm not sure about diagnosing Ivan when he's barely three, but I do like some of the measures that you've taken. I might add one suggestion because you really can't always keep a routine. When you do have to change Ivan's routine, warn him that you're going to do so enough ahead of time so that he has time to think about the change and prepare himself for the change.
I love you. Have faith and confidence. Love, Mom

marie said...

I have heard that also. We have had our good moments and bad lately. Like the other day he went down for his nap perfectly, the next moment he was in full "flip out" mode over his towel. Right now he is just going to be tested for speech delays. He does a lot of screeching, beeping etc. and doesn't talk very much. So that is the first task. Helping him with speech. Right now it is just a hard, hard time with him. We are trying though! :) thanks for the encouragment Mom!

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