Thursday, January 13, 2011

the cost of disorganization

(the face of Autism, isn't it cute?)

(Me with my Ivan)
(falling asleep in the recliner is not the best way to stay on a schedule!)

One week has passed. Can I tell you that I really haven't accomplished much over my bloggy break? I keep wondering why I don't have any motivation...to do anything at all!

My dishes are stacked in the sink, I have loads of clothes waiting to be put away, floors that need mopping...and yet, I watch tv, mess around on the computer or nap. I do have kids to take care of but...they are at the age when it isn't a 24/7 hands on job.

We have been back to school for almost 2 weeks now. It has been rough on all of us getting back into the swing of things. But...

my 5 (6 in a couple of weeks) yr old has struggled the most. This kid is adorable. He has beautiful brown eyes, a great sense of humor, gives the best kisses, wears his hat everywhere (even to bed!) loves anything that is red. He also has Autism.

This means that he thrives on routine and schedule. This is something he hasn't had basically since Thanksgiving. Days off from school, traveling, staying up later, waking up later, no rush to go anywhere...it is taking its toll.

When I checked my email this morning, I had an email from his teacher listing all of the things he has done this week...so far. I asked her to do this, so I can help work with him at home, but it really is not easy getting those emails.

To make this not so short story, shorter, it all comes down to one thing. The cost of disorganization. My disorganization, is costing me in many ways.

1) Actual $$- I have had to replace items that have been lost, pay for the repair of items at the last minute, paying for organizational products...
2) Mentally: my SANITY. Seriously. When things don't work out the way I want (controlling much?) I get frustrated. I get irritable. I lose my patience...and unfortunatley my temper.
3)Emotionally (although similar to mentlly): all of the above causes a lot of tears. And is draining.
4)physically: I am always tired. I am an emotional eater and so emotionally drained + physically tired = pizza & oreos

I need to get myself together. Not just for me. But for him. He needs his world to be in order...and I am going to do it. For both of us...

3 comments:

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April said...

I know so about disorganization, while getting my son diagnosed with ADHD I realized om my gosh I have it too. Then came the question should I take medication for it and I look at all the things my ADHD has cost me monetary and with my family and I chose to take medication. We are so hard on ourselves I know for Justin schedules would help him so much but really while on vacation do I really want to get up at 6;30 and have breakfast and you know the rest. When he was younger and we traveled he turned into a monster, because he was up late sleeping in different places on different houses. I am sure Our families thought he was just the worst child ever. Just know I feel for you. you can only do what you can do and keep going.
Not to mention the whole daddy deployed situation for him. I think it is after the first month, mont and a half that the kids really feel it. They are used to dads long work hours and mom doing a lot of the everyday stuff. but after this amount of time I think it really hits them that hey dad is not here what's going on? stay strong and keep, busy (not like you have a choice) and get help from your friends.

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