Yesterday I shared with you, how my son felt about having Autism. So I thought I would take a turn and tell you how I feel about having a son with autism.
So how do I feel about it? I have no one answer to that question.
Sometimes I feel mad. Why me? Why MY son? Why can't I get all the help he needs?
Sometimes I feel sad. Why didn't Ivan get invited to that birthday party? Why can't I do/be everything that he needs? Why do we have to deal with this?
Sometimes I feel confused. Did I go too far? Did I not go far enough? Did I make the right choice? What does he need? What doesn't he need?
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. In over my head. Like I can't handle any more outbursts, or screaming, or calls from teachers, or him hiding, or cutting his sandwich into 4 pieces.
Sometimes I feel scared. Scared for his future. Scared for ours.
Sometimes I feel tired. Tired of fighting over homework. And househod chores. Tired of making sure everything is right in his world. Tired of fighting for him with no resuts. Physically. Mentally.Emotionally.
But most of all I feel thankful.
Thankful for my son who loves me unconditionally. Who forgives my mistakes, with no qualms.
Thankful for a son who looks at life in new and amazing ways.
Thankful for a son who counts on me and trusts me.
Thankful for a son who teaches me every day. About patience. About love. About forgiveness.
Thankful for a son who is smart, funny and cute.
Thankful for a son who has overcome so many challenges and faces so many more on a daily basis.
Thankful for a son who loves to dress up as a pirate.
Thankful for a son who loves to ride his scooter, jump on the trampoline and play at the park.
Thankful for the gift that is my Ivan.
1 comment:
Awwww ... sweet post :)
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