Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The one where...

Marie tells everyone how lost she is feeling...

Last year, for a variety of reasons, I started homeschooling my three older children. Ivan, my first grader had the most amazing teacher, and so I left him in his class.

It made for a crazy year, having kids going to different schools with different schedules etc, but I knew it was right. I let Ivan know that he would be at home with me for 2nd grade, and I have been content with that decision...until recently.

Ivan is autistic. He is very mild. But it doesn't necessarily mean that life is all sunshine and roses.

As the summer has progressed, and Ivan's lack of schedule has continued...he has become very...difficult to deal with.

Today while at Barnes and Noble, he threw a HUGE fit. Complete meltdown. Running away, hiding, crying, screaming...Something I haven't dealt with in such.a.long.time. It was frustrating. For him and for me.

I feel lost with what he knows/understands vs. just trying to get away with things. I feel lost when he screams and cries and won't talk. I feel lost when he shuts down. I feel lost with how to help him.

I am starting to feel very lost in whether or not I will be able to teach him. Will I be able to get through to him? Would someone else be better for him? Can I teach him when lately I can't even get him to get dressed without a fight?

School starts next Wednesday. I don't feel ready...


Matt and Tiana said...

I have faced some of thous same challenges this summer. I can't wait to school to start and get back into a good routine. Everyday this week has been a huge fight with my kids. They totally ignore me. Help!

Avis La Fin said...

My gut feeling is that Ivan would benefit from the structure of school. Although you assured him he'd be in home school, I would seriously re-consider. Of course, I don't have the right of revelation in Ivan's behalf, but you do!! Be'll know. Love you, Mom

Beth said...

I'm so sorry! What a tough decision. Pray about it. And, whatever you decide to do, don't feel guilty. You are only one can't do it all. I wish we were closer so I could share in your burden but know that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers!

Arkansas Bartholomews said...

Much sympathy. =(

Couple of thoughts:
Visual schedules help my oldest when he struggles to understand routine changes. Have they helped you?

And if it's just that it's you and you are mom not teacher, then who else could you bring in to teach? Would one of the older ones earn extra credit by going through a start up routine of "today is __ and the weather is __ and lets say the pledge ___ and sing a song ___ and do a circle time activity___ and now over to visiting tutor "MOM!" to do (whatever is next on the class day)" before they go off to their own studies?

Or are there other home schooling moms nearby to coordinate with?

And last thought: if you do take him back to school: Then he will have good reason to like it, and it'll only be one extra school to go to.

Wish you the very best.

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