Saturday, August 21, 2010

the big D's

D is for...deployment and depression.

I am a military wife. I am very proud of my soldier. I love and miss him. Right now, he is currently out on a field exercise in the mountains. I honestly have no clue where he is. I only hear from him when the signal is good. Even then it is a quick phone call, or a 1 line text.

This is not the first time he has been away. He has actually been away quite a few times. For months. But I always had a way to communicate with him.

Every time, I go through a sort of depression. I am not in the mood to cook or clean. "I don't have a husband coming home so who cares?" is often my attitude. My children could care less if the house is messy, and often prefer pancakes for dinner instead of roast or something.

Then, we get into a rythm. Life moves on and we get into a routine. We miss him, but it isn't the hard, lonely time that we went through. The end of a deployment is rough too. It wouldn't seem that way but it is.

Right now I am on my way out of that depression. I am not sure when he is coming home, I haven't heard from him in days. When he gets home, he will be here for a whole 11 days before he heads to Afghanistan. Luckily that is a quick trip and I will have him home. November is the big one. I know it will not be easy.

I am not sure why I am sharing this. Ecspecially on this blog! I am just feeling kind of like a hypocrite. Talking about cooking, organizing etc. while my house is a wreck!

Whew, that felt good to get out. I know my family needs me and it isn't just Ben that counts. The kids are watching me too. If I don't put out the effort for them, they might think that they aren't as important. I don't want that!

Being a wife and mother is my MOST important calling!


Julie said...

I hear you, Marie! I can relate on many points there. Just last night it really hit me about Jake's upcoming deployment - arriving here and being surrounded by all things and everything Seabee... the welcome home signs... the constant mention/bringing up of his deployment... sigh. You are not alone!

Susan said...

Hang in there! You and Ben are both doing important jobs for our country and for your family. BTW: There's nothing wrong with having pancakes for dinner. We do it all the time!

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